Nowadays she does not get whatever he or

Nowadays she does not get whatever he or

Nowadays most children believe in having things in one way and one way only – their own.

And god forbid, if they do not get things the way they like, there is hell to pay. Indiscipline is rampant in society today, where it is the parents who seem more afraid of their children rather than the other way around. Parents do not seem to realize that by giving in to the child’s demands, they are only making him or her more uncontrollable and a menace to society. Yes, indiscipline is a behavioral disorder that is classified as an act of delinquency. Just like, lying, stealing and playing truant or running away from home.

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It is often the cause of a lot of mental, emotional and also physical damage. Such as damage to property in homes as well as in schools. An undisciplined child is an uncontrollable child and can do just about any damage when he or she does not get whatever he or she wants. In the home environment Who is to blame for the way a child turns out? Is it the fault of the parents’ and their faulty upbringing, peer pressures or the fault of society at large? Today’s parents lay the blame completely on the demands of society. When asked why she allowed her daughter to return home after 12 a. . at night, Mrs.

Joshi revealed that as all the other parents in the compound were allowing their children out together, she could not very well stop her daughter. Besides, her daughter was not going to listen to her in any case. Mr. Joshi thought it better to adjust to the times than to lose his daughter completely. The one time that he had tried to stop his daughter from going out, she had thrown her plate of food on the floor and not eaten for two days. As you can see, parents feel helpless.

But we must try and analyze how such a situation has come about.It has been observed that most people like spending time by them and actually encourage their children to stay out of their hair. Maybe they are working the whole day and just want a couple of hours of peace. In this way, they begin to alienate the child, who finally reaches a stage where he or she does not need them anymore.

By now, the parents finally realize that they are losing their family and support system for their old age, and begin to give in to everything that their growing teenager demands, just to keep them happy, and in his or her good books. The situation is too late to remedy at this stage. Indiscipline at schoolOver the last decade, the standards of discipline are fast deteriorating in the school environment too.

School is just not what it used to be anymore as very few schools are able to maintain the same standards of behavior. May be the teachers’ do not have that same confidence and commanding personality as they used to. Or maybe work pressures have increased to such a degree that all the teachers can think of is completing the curriculum on schedule.

Quite obviously, most of them seem to lack the dedication to go beyond the call of duty and the syllabus and contribute to the all-round development of the child.One cannot really blame them entirely, when you observe the huge number of children in each classroom, and the added burden of two to three shifts. To top all of this, the numbers of subjects and books have also increased tremendously and most children are finding it difficult to cope with these extra burdens.

Most parents too, reason why they send their children for tutorials and serve to further increase their load. It is a vicious circle. Not only this, today’s education system does not prepare the child for employment. The curriculum is far removed from practical knowledge and this makes the child’s mind and feet wander.So as we can see, the basic fault lies with the education system.

What can or should we do? If the child is offered practical courses that cater to his requirements, he will have a purpose and therefore less time to indulge in undisciplined behavior. His restlessness will be curbed, as he will be better occupied. But until then, it is the duty of the teachers to help the child to cope with the load and to find a workable solution for those children who are breaking under the pressure. The parents too can contribute by spending quality time with the child, and taking a deeper interest in what is happening at school.They should make an effort to meet the teachers and find a solution to make their children’s’ schooling more productive and satisfying.

Once the child realises that his parents are really interested in his welfare he might be willing to meet them halfway, rather than demanding his own way all the time. Effective discipline is less about punishing and more about teaching responsibility. The authors provide six strategies for helping youth learn the most important R: responsibility. The purpose of school has been defined in many ways. School prepares students for college, jobs, and citizenship.School keeps students off the streets until they grow up.

School teaches students how to think and socializes them. School teaches the three “Rs”: reading, writing, and arithmetic. But difficult students cannot learn the three Rs until they learn the most important, first R: responsibility. Perhaps the most fundamental and important goal of schooling is teaching the tools of responsible behavior. Every school mission statement includes this concept. Unfortunately, the day-today process of discipline in most schools focuses far more on creating obedience.Although obedience is necessary for children to learn, it is in many ways the opposite of responsibility.

Obedience requires students to do what they are told. Responsibility requires students to make their own decisions. When people behave responsibly, they make the best decisions they can with their ability and understanding of the consequences. Teaching responsibility requires motivating students to want to change, teaching them decision-making skills, and providing them with new skills for better behavior. They also need role models who can show these new behaviors in action.Students cannot do what they have never seen or do what they do not know how to do. Interventions work best when students are taught what to do instead of simply being told that what they did was wrong.

Responsibility is taught within a structure that can be created with the following six strategies: 1. Establish sensible limits. 2. Confront misbehavior with dignity. 3.

Provide healthy, viable choices. 4. Help students learn from the consequences of their choices.

5. Elicit a commitment to change. 6.

Develop a sense of remorse. Establish Sensible Limits Limits without choices (i. .

, Assertive Discipline, Canter & Canter, 1992) teach obedience. Choices without limits (i. e.

, Kohn, 1996) teach chaos. There can be no true choice if there are no limits. More important, students cannot learn from the natural consequences of their actions when they are allowed to make choices without limits. Consider the following examples.

A teacher intervenes with a student who hit another student. •Limit, no choice: “Hitting is against the rules. If you hit again, you will spend Saturday in detention.

” •Choice, no limit: “Tell me how you feel about hitting. •Choice within limits: “Hitting is not acceptable. The next time you are angry, these are your choices. You can tell the person how you feel without hitting. You can demand that you be treated fairly. You can walk away. You can write a note.

But you cannot hit. And because you broke the rule, your consequence is_____________. ” Without limits, there can be no responsibility. Limits draw the line between what is acceptable and what is not.

They provide safe boundaries that allow students to explore and define themselves. In school, limits are rules.These rules must be selected carefully, based on values, and reflect what most faculty and students believe. Most importantly, the rules must support and be compatible with the goal of promoting student learning.

Confront Misbehavior With Dignity Along with clearly defined limits, students must be confronted in a dignified way when they step beyond the boundaries. In successful programs for troubled students, adults and youth hold each other accountable for their behavior and are more likely to call each other on moves designed to manipulate or “get over. Youth in these programs note that others did not let them “get away with stuff. ” Positive confrontation can be facilitated by having a mentoring process in place. This strategy can also help prevent an us-versus-them polarization. For example, a mentoring program entitled “tagging” was used effectively at a coed facility for 13- to 18-year-old adjudicated youth.

When a new youth arrived, he or she would spend two weeks “tagging” with someone who had been in program for a substantial period of time. The pair roomed together, ate together, went to school together, and essentially did everything together.It was expected that the established youth would help acclimate the new arrival not only to the rules and protocol but to the more subtle nuances of the facility as well.

A similar program is used by an inner-city elementary school that has established a “student ambassador” program that pairs new students with “ambassadors” who show them “the ropes,” including the school’s do’s and don’ts. The school discovered that some of its best ambassadors were its most difficult students. Provide Healthy, Viable Choices Choices are different than limits in that we can expand the number of choices while holding firm on the limits.Choices are often replacements for unacceptable behavior: “You cannot throw your books on the floor, but you can be angry in other ways. You can calm yourself by talking, writing, or coloring.

” Choices must also be real. A threat presented as a choice is not a real choice because it does not improve a student’s ability to make decisions. Instead, it is simply a more sophisticated form of bullying. Telling a student to “either stop interrupting or receive a detention” is a threat. The difference between a threat and a choice is control.When the teacher knows which answer is correct or there is only one way to respond (the teacher’s way), then there is no choice, only a threat. By contrast, real choices have at least two alternatives that are acceptable, and a teacher will have no preconceived preference for one or more of the alternatives.

If the teacher does have a preference, he or she takes responsibility by sharing it: “I want you in class on time because I miss you when you aren’t here and I’d prefer to avoid the hassle of writing a referral:” The following examples illustrate the difference between threatening a student and giving him or her a choice. Threat: “Stop interrupting or you’ll receive a detention. ” •Choice: “Stop interrupting. If you really want to tell me something, you can either raise your hand or write it down and meet with me privately when we can discuss your concern without interrupting the class. ” The student must see the choices as viable. If we offer a choice that a student would never select, then it is not a real choice.

Asking a student to “either tell me which of your friends did it or face the consequence yourself” is a choice most students would never make.Sometimes it is difficult to predict what might be a viable choice for a student, but common sense can help. Students rarely see as viable any choice that they perceive as a violation of their values or culture or of the values or culture of their friends (especially boy- and girlfriends), parents, or other teachers. Help Students Learn From the Consequences of Their Choices Consequences are the results of our choices. Consequences should be based on rules (limits) and guided by principles (values) that directly relate to and reinforce the reason for the rules.It is much more effective, for example, to ask a student to do something nice for the person he or she offended (a consequence based on the principle of making amends) than to make the student take a timeout and sit quietly for 10 minutes (a punishment).

As long as consequences do not involve danger or other unacceptable outcomes, they are superior to external punishments. Without consequences, students learn that their choices are irrelevant, that their behavior has no influence on themselves or others. The reality is, however, that our choices always have consequences even though they may be hidden or subtle.Some other consequences may be unacceptable in a school setting.

One consequence for hitting another student is that the student might not like the attacker any longer. That consequence will probably do little to prevent the misbehaving student from hitting again. Another consequence, such as having the student write a behavior plan or practice appropriate behavior, may teach that hitting is wrong and that there are better ways to express negative feelings. Elicit a Commitment to Change Anyone who has tried to lose weight, save money, or become more organized knows how difficult it is to change behavior.

We believe that changing our own behavior is the most difficult of life’s challenges. If we have trouble changing our own behavior when we want to change, imagine how difficult it is to change a child’s behavior when he or she does not want to change. Without a commitment to change from the child, there is little hope that any intervention will have lasting results.

Developing a commitment to change in students is not easy because it requires that students not only agree that what they did was inappropriate, but also be willing to change even if it requires hard work.We can facilitate commitment to change by • remaining connected to the student (especially during incidents of misbehavior), •sharing our feelings of disappointment in a poor choice, •expecting that the student will be able to make a better choice, and then •guiding the student through a problem-solving process that includes practicing a new behavior. Adding our generous encouragement and support will increase the possibility of long-term change. Develop a Sense of Remorse Many educators we have met have commented on the general lack of remorse in today’s students.When disciplining students, a teacher is as likely to hear “who cares? ” as “I’m sorry.

” This lack of remorse is as serious a problem as the student’s misbehavior. Remorse is an essential emotion for long-term behavior change. Without remorse, students are unlikely to have the will or commitment necessary for the sustained effort to change their behavior whether someone is watching or not. For children to learn remorse, they must see others demonstrate it publicly and learn the value of remorse. In addition, remorse must be expected of them.

One of the most effective lessons you can give is to show genuine remorse when you make a mistake. Students can see through phony attempts at contrition, just as adults can when they hear public figures say what is right but not mean it. Teaching remorse is not easy because it is based on values. Asking students how they feel about what they have done is a first step in getting students to think about what they value and to feel remorse.

Examples of such questions are •“How do you feel, knowing you have hurt Jamie? ” •“How does it feel when someone takes something of yours? •“Just about all people feel upset and angry when their stuff is taken. I’ll bet you feel that way too, sometimes. ” We can follow this line of inquiry with a question that requires the student to think about making amends: “What are you going to do to fix things for Jamie so that she feels better? ” Continually stressing the concept of remorse when involved in discipline situations will have an impact. Having the class develop statements of values to be used for establishing rules can also make a difference.

A statement of value would be “School is a place where we learn that my way is not the only way. A rule developed from this value would be “Settle disagreements with words, not fists” (Curwin & Mendler, 1997). All disciplinary decisions and discussions could then be based on the values the violator helped to develop. Rules would carry more weight because they would be based on class values. In addition, the violator would be encouraged to feel remorse through consequences when he or she is asked to identify ways to make amends: “How are you going to fix it to make it right? ” Even more influential in the decline of remorse is the increasing use of short-term iscipline interventions that provide an easy, “escalator” approach to handling misbehavior. Many educators rely on rewards and punishments for discipline, but these methods do not teach remorse. Instead, they teach students to think of misbehavior as a game.

They teach students to make excuses, blame others, and hide their misbehavior or grandstand. Punishments may be effective as a deterrent with “good” students who have already developed the value of caring for others, but they are ineffective with difficult students who have likely received too many punishments from harsh, neglectful, or abusive parents and misguided educators.Remorse comes from values, and values should be a major part of any model of behavior change. The following methods and practices will help you develop remorse in your students by creating within them the desire to change.

Use welcoming techniques. Help the child feel that he or she is part of the group or class. The more the student feels part of the group, the more likely the student will feel remorse for disrupting the group and will want to change from within. Welcoming means more than just greeting. It means letting the student know how glad you are that he or she is part of your group.

For example, when a student is removed, you can say that you are sorry he will be gone, that you will miss him, and that you look forward to a better time when he returns. When disciplining a student, you can tell her that you will not give up on her or on trying to find a way to improve your relationship with her. Remember that your words mean little if you are not sincere. Be a role model who shows remorse by apologizing and correcting yourself when you have done something you regret, even if it has not hurt someone else. Show genuine remorse when you break a promise, lose your temper, or make a mistake.Being a role model for how to behave in other difficult situations as well is the most effective lesson you can give your students.

When a student is disrespectful to you, demonstrate to everyone how to respond to disrespect. If you are called a jerk or worse, respond the same way you want students to respond when they are offended. Teach rather than tell. Students rarely feel remorse for not doing what they do not know how to do. Yet most of us tell children what to do when they break rules, rather than teach them what to do differently in the future. We never say “add better” when a student makes a mistake in math.

Instead, we teach the student how to understand a problem and solve it correctly. The same approach should be used in interventions. When a student is disrespectful, you might respond by saying, “Next time you are upset, try telling how you feel instead of calling names. It sounds like this: `I get very upset when you take my things without asking.

Please stop doing it. ’ Why don’t you try saying that to me so I can be sure you know how to do it. ” Provide support for slippage (regressions). Imagine you have been on a diet for two weeks. In a moment of temptation, you eat an entire chocolate cream pie instead of one small piece.What kind of comment from a friend would help you return to the diet? “I thought you were on a diet! That’s not dieting—that’s pigging out.

There’s no hope for you! ” Or “Diets are hard sometimes. You had a small backslide and that’s normal. Don’t give up now.

If you go back to what you were doing, this pie won’t make any difference. I hope you enjoyed the pie. Maybe in a couple of months you can have another one. ” Students need the same encouragement and support when they suddenly slide back into old patterns of behavior. This is a normal part of the process for long-term change.What happens next will determine how successful this process will be. If you respond to a student’s slippage with messages of disappointment or failure, the student will most likely give up and believe he or she is incapable of continuing.

If you only support without some prodding, the student might falsely think that the goal is not important and that it is OK to give it up. If you respond with understanding, encouragement, and a gentle but firm push to keep trying, the student will most likely see the reversal as temporary and continue to work toward lasting change.Responsibility Is Not Easy The first R is more difficult to achieve than obedience and often harder to live with when we get it from students. The independent thinking developed by responsibility is more likely to lead to challenges from our students than the compliant behavior developed by obedience. However, most teachers prefer students who challenge classroom ideas related to content than those who simply take notes and regurgitate information on exams.

Nevertheless, students who challenge behaviorally do create more discomfort in a classroom.But some of our most gratifying moments as educators will come when we see students monitor themselves, realize that they have choices, show concern for others, and assume responsibility for their behavior at school. Indiscipline in the distortion of controlled moral or mental behavior. It may also refer simply to the intentional refusal to follow rules and regulations of a given society. The above defined aspect is to rampant in the youth/students today. This fully may explain why many of the prison and police cells are filled by no one but a majority of the youth.Below therefore are a set of factors that are advance to explain the emergence of indiscipline among the youth/students.

In a wide analysis, it has been noticed that the indiscipline among youth is born from peer grouping. It is through the peer groups that the youth learn drug abuse, which has given birth to not only robbery but also massive violence in society. In their groupings, students/youth have learnt to plan for evils such as strikes, murdering and skills for stealing among others. It is because of this that one should however come to believe that indiscipline in students/youth is a born of peer pressure.

Mass media how however also taught youth to be more indiscipline than ever. It is not surprising that today girls and boys both dress indecently, and if anyone attempts to correct or comment on the dressing code, youth/students become violent and aggressive even terming the advisor to be “ a backward fellow whose eyes have learnt nothing from the four corners of the world”. Sincerely speaking this is nothing, but an acute indiscipline in the youth. And the only factor to blame is mass media. The upheavals in today’s society are yet to blame for indiscipline.These upheavals included corruption among leaders, immorality and poor methods of governance such as dictatorship among others. In a democratic world, this many not look like a cause but may be called a justification rather. You find in today’s society that there are some leaders who are corrupt and immoral. If these leaders come to advice or talk to the youth, the youth may not listen to them or may do a contrary of what they are saying just as a demonstration to them. Of course the youth are blamed and in this case termed “indisciplined” by shallow minds because they always say: “Boss is Boss”.In demonstrations, youth have always been caught and put under police custody for what is termed as “indiscipline”. In this respect therefore, democracy has yielded it’s seed called indiscipline because, if a student/youth is given time to choose between wrong or right, he may end up choosing a wrong thing to be right for him/her and in this case if he/she is denied his/her right he/she may demonstrate later to be called indiscipline. In this case democracy is to blame for indiscipline in youth. Some youth are indisciplined simply because they have a burden.Some may be poor, sick (AIDS victims) or abandoned by their warders/guardians because of the above student/youth may take respect for anybody or anything as a solution to his/her frustrations. Hence this leads to indiscipline. Much to blame for indiscipline among the urban dwelling students/youth is the availability of cheap drugs such as mira/marungi, bangi and alcohol among others. Students (many)/ youth do not act against societies rules/regulations intentionally, but they are driven and influenced by drugs they take and drink.The drugs disorganize their minds and drive them to do acts that are opposed to the societies understanding. The consumption of this drugs therefore leads to indiscipline. In Uganda today, it has been asserted that the level of indiscipline has deteriorated due to ineffective mechanism of law and order. The section that maintains law and order itself has declined. This therefore has given a space for indiscipline to breed among the youth. If the authorities responsible for effecting law and order were only serious, indiscipline could not even be heard of.However, in schools where law tends to be restrictive and students or youth are over restricted tension and pressure is caused among the youth/students and administrators hence leading to violence. This may work most appropriately where the line of communication between administrators and their subjects (students/youth) has been broken. In zones of insecurity or political instability, you may be surprised to note that most of the youth are indisciplined and are not easy to approach. The reason for this is survival for the existence. This is just their automatic response so as to fit to the war zone since the environment itself looks harsh.In many schools, there are students who may look indisciplined for a secret reason to leave school. This may be caused by the fact that some parents force their children to join schools that are not of their choices and in other circumstances also, parents tend to dictate subjects that are not of the child’s choice. Their indiscipline in school therefore is a search for a solution, which is nothing but only dismissal. Given a wise saying that: “an idle mind is or devil’s temple”, it may also be true to state that unemployment of today is responsible for the indiscipline of the youth.Due to unemployment therefore the youth stay idle and everywhere in thoughts of evils and bad behaviors. Youth of Africa have also found themselves initiating the western culture calling themselves Gs, what’s – ups and so on. This has cultivated a bad behavior in them because they use abusive slang, dress indecently and can’t condone to call their mothers “Bitches”. In conclusion, it is amazing to note that as the tradition is dying, permissiveness and it’s modern ideas have killed the society’s regulations of today. And that is why it is significant to remark that indiscipline is enjoying the youth.The effects of indiscipline among the youth are manifold. Indiscipline is defined as a lack of discipline. Some of the effects of indiscipline among the youth include lack of respect for teachers, parents and other senior figures. It could be argued that the indiscipline of certain individuals has reduced the morality and ethics of many young people. The effect of the downfall in morals and ethics are caused, in part, by the education of the young people, in that teachers are no longer responsible for setting limits, merely for ensuring that certain targets are met.As discipline is no longer present, the lack of discipline does not present any sense of shame as the indiscipline is not tied to immorality anymore. The lack of guidance given to young people means that the conduct they show is not an important facet of their lives anymore. General consensus is that the values that have influenced morality are instilled inside the family, and that it is improved family values that will reverse the current trend. Most young people today believe in having things their own way. If they don’t get their own way then they often go off the rails.Parents seem more afraid of children and they do not seem to realise that by constantly giving in to their demands they are making them uncontrollable and undisciplined. Indiscipline is classed as a behavioral disorder and is the cause of mental, emotional, and in some cases, physical damage. Some would argue that parents, teachers and society should shoulder some of the blame for the indiscipline currently evident amongst today’s youth. Parents may be to blame as they give their children too much freedom, whereas teachers could be to blame for not focusing on things that the child is good at.Society is also to blame as the current education system does not prepare a child for employment. The curriculum is so varied that children are not gaining enough practical knowledge. Children are the gifts of God to parents. That young child will in no time at all grow up to become a resposible future leader if he is well catered for. Therefore whatever they learn or grow up with is what they will act upon in their future. Juvenile Deliquency is nothing but indiscipline among youth. An untrained child of today will destroy the future of himself and that of others.Remember Crowley in New york, the USA, Aninih and Shina Rambo, notorious armed robbers in Nigeria, they are today the world enemies. What shall we say of you and your children in future? The rate of indiscipline and crime committed among young generation has escallated and is still increasing. Many stubborn, disobedient,wayward, foolish boys and girls are today all over our streets than we are able to imagine. The stigma is not only common with adolescents but also with young men and women betweene the age of 19 and 45. They are ready to kill, maim,or kidnap in as much as it will bring them fortune or pleasure.That was not the original plan of God for creating man at Eden. Our society can now boast of more criminals than ever. Children are disobedient to parents, the spiritual leaders in various ministries and churches have more problem dealing with their youth, what is the way out is now the common question among the older generation. The political leaders do not help the situation as they employ young men and women as political thurgs,terrorists, or body guards leaving their own children to waste away in prostitution occultism and other social vices.The teachers and lecturers in primary, secondary and tertiary institutions have turned themselves to instruments in the hand of satan to use in teaching the younger generation prostitution cigarrette smoking and many more evils. Parent, spiritual leaders, political leaders, teachers,in fact, everybody has murdered sleep and we either sleep with one eye closed or we no longer sleep at all. Social vices which are common among older generation are all living now with the younger generation- bribery and corruption, armed robbery, secret cultism, etc.May the Almighty save our nation Our children need our prayer, care, love etc morethan ever before, if we actually want a change for good. Have we not failed in our duties of child training, if our parents had trained us as half baked when we were children, just as we are training our own children now, would God not have destroyed this world ealier than now One thousand and one questions run accross our mind daily. Now where have we failed and what must we do to escape the judgement of God.

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