Thesis:In a hairstyle is in Mark Twains

Thesis:In a hairstyle is in Mark Twains

Thesis:In order to truly comprehend the true essence of all that is mullet, youmust be familiar with what a mullet exactly is, vocabulary associated with the mullet and certain classifications of the mullet.A.

Attention Getter:Imagine youre walking down the aisle of Walmartdoing your regular shopping, when all of a sudden, you stop in amazement. You are struck with a feeling of awe because right in front of you is a person with a big, feathered, puffy, golden mullet. The sides flare out halfway down the ears. The back is permed and dyed black at the tips. Your knees begin to quiver because of the breath taking site that is before your eyes. You, my friend, have wandered into the wonderful world of the mullet.B.

Reason to Listen:The mullet is a cultural phenomenon sweeping the nation as we speak.C.Thesis Statement:In order to truly comprehend the true essence of all that is mullet, you must be familiar with what a mullet exactly is, vocabulary associated with the mullet and certain classifications of the mullet. 1.

Ever since I discovered what is behind the true nature of the mullet, Ive wanted to expose people to the intricate world of the mullet.2.I have done research on the mullet using the Internet and looking uppast magazine articles on the mullet.1.First, I will describe exactly what a mullet is.2.

Second, I will describe some vocabulary and terms associated with the mullet.3.Third, I will give a few classifications of mullets.II.In order to truly comprehend the true essence of all that is mullet, you must be familiar with what a mullet exactly is, vocabulary associated with the mullet,and certain classifications of the mullet.

A.The question on a lot of peoples mind before they part for their journey into the mullet world is what exactly is a mullet?1.The Mullet is a hairstyle in which the sides and top of thehair are cut significantly shorter than the back.a.

According to Websters Dictionary the mullet is any of afamily of edible, spiny-rayed fishes found in fresh and salt waters. b.But the earliest record of the mullet referring to a hairstyle is in Mark Twains classic The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, which it states: Theyre so confiding and mullet-headed theydont take notice of nothing at all.” 2.Most people think the mullet is just a bad hairstyle, but it’s also a state a.

According to Grand Royal Magazine the mullet is usuallyfavored by those adult personages who wish to kick out the jams weekends but stay out of jams on weekdaysb.Grand Royal Magazine states that your typical mullet is never ill at ease, from their nine-to-five, Monday-through-Friday grind to the Saturday morning tailgater/football game, to the Eagles concert later that night, to the church and Sunday Transition:Now that we know the fundamentals of the mullet, we can delve deeper into the complex world of the mullet, but before we do there are some crucial vocabulary terms that must defined.B.

The important vocabulary associated with the mullet includes three terms and other names for the mullet.1.The first term I will define is mulletude.

a.As chronicled by Mulletsgalore.com, mulletude is the attitude that comes with the adornment of the mullet.b.Mulletsgalore.

com also states that the behaviors associatedwith mulletude include the following: beatings ones spouse, scowling or sneering at others that do not possessa mullet, engaging in fights on a regular basis, stealing,listening to butt-rock, attending monster truck rallies, driving,a Chevrolet Camaro (model years 1970-1993), or mini-trucksnorting crank, misogyny, getting angry at the drop of a hat, and speaking in a inappropriately, loud voice.2.The next term to define is butt-rock.a.According to Mulletsgalore.com butt-rock is rock n’ roll music produced from the mid 70’s to present that has the following characteristics: four or five male members with long, feathered hair (bangs are common, but not necessary) or mullets, wailing guitar solos, distorted guitars, and lyrics about women, sex, drugs, Satan, and fast cars.

b.Typical butt-rock bands include Winger, Scorpions, Dio, Ted Nugent, The Marshall Tucker Band, Metallica (1990-present), Whitesnake, Def Leopard, Journey, Krokus, Accept, W.A.S.

P., Van Halen, Sammy Hagar, Slash’s Snakepit etc.3.Then there is the term coldneck which is simply defined byMulletsgalore.com as a non-mullet, but just because someone is acoldneck does not mean they dont possess mulletude.4.The book The Mullet: Hairstyle of the Gods, gives a long list of synonyms for the mullet.

A few from the list include: the 7 (shape of the number), achy-breaky-bad-mistakey, ape-drape the bi level, business in the front, party in the back, the Canadian passport, the Camaro cut, el-camino, hockey hair, Kentucky waterfall, Missouri compromise, mudflap, neckwarmer, schlong, shorty-longback, soccer rocker, squirrel pellet and Tennessee tophat.Transition:Now that we have common knowledge of important vocabulary associated with the mullet, we now can move on to discover the differentclassifications of the mullet. C.There are many different classifications, but here I will list five of the most common and give a brief description, hobbies, sightings and favorite band of 1.The first classification, and probably the most common is the Classic a.Mulletsgalore.

com states that this mullet proudly displays his exotic plumage while in a menacing stance and it usuallyadorns mesh tank top, digital watch, silver chain, and overall molester mustache all add points to this fine specimen’s look b.Some hobbies of the Classic Mullet include football games, wife beating, and picking fights.c.

Certain sightings you will see this mullet are pretty much everywhere, there is no escape.d.The Classic Mullet’s favorite band is usually Steve Miller 2.

The next classification is the Camaro Mullet.a.According to Mulletsgalore.com the Camaro Mullets distinguishing features include: a molester mustache (peach fuzzy), tight-fitting acid wash jeans, and an ever present key ring hanging from the belt loop.

b.Some hobbies this species takes part in includes primering cars, bar fights, picking scabs, losing teeth.c.You will probably find this mullet at the auto store or working on a Camaro in their front lawn.d.The Camaro Mullet’s favorite band is AC/DC.

3.Another classification is the Mini-truck Mullet. a.Mulletsgalore.com states that the Mini-truck Mullet has only the bottom part of his hairline on the base of his neck long and the vehicle owned by the Mini-truck Mullet almost always has a lame slogan airbrushed on the tailgate and a “No Fear,” “Fear This,” or Calvin Pissing sticker.

b.Hobbies of this particular mullet include cruising the Taco Bell parking lot at lunch time for High school chicks, and bothering pedestrians.c.The Mini-truck Mullet can usually be spotted at performance auto part stores, or the mall.

d.The favorite band of this mullet is, not surprisingly, Vanilla 4.Next up is the famous Fem-Mullet.

a.The Fem-Mullet, of course is the female version of the mullet which also includes many, sub-species.b.Various hobbies the Fem-Mullet participate in include taking mullet kids to the county fair, a game called “Bar Slut,” and of course, fixing cars.c.You can almost always see a Fem-Mullet on the arms of a fellow mullethead.

d.The favorite band of a Fem-Mullet is usually The Indigo Girls.5.Last, but not least we have the Ultimullet.a.

This mullet is simply breath taking and Mulletsgalore.com affirms this is the mullet to end all mullets. b.The Ultimullet has no hobbies, all it does is live for the c.

The Ultimullet sightings are usually family oriented places: amusement parks, air shows etc.d.Favorite band of the Ultimullet is reported to be Slayer.1.Today, we first examined into what exactly a mullet is.2.Second, we delved deeper into the mullet world by going over important vocabulary associated with the mullet.3.Finally, I went over some (but not all) classifications of the mullet.B.Restate Thesis:In order to truly comprehend the true essence of all that is mullet, you must be familiar with what a mullet exactly is, vocabulary associated with the mullet and certain classifications of the mullet.C.Closure:Now, next time youre shopping at Wal-mart, and discover a mullet, you can now fully understand and appreciate it for what it is. The world of the mullet is complex and vast, but with this knowledge bestowed upon you all, your journey through the mullet world should be safe and adventurous.Bibliography: