When we meet someone
When we meet someone, their personality is one of the first things that shine and stick out to others, allowing us to preview who they may be as a person. Personalities can have big effect on some and is shapes who we are as humans. Humans have a frequent tendency seek for many things in their span of life and one of those major things is happiness. As humans, our lives try to revolve around happiness. We try to surround ourselves with people who are happy, or get a job that brings us joy, or adopt a hobby that makes us feel good. Some feel as if happiness is not an option for them because of how sad they are. This essay will explain how our personalities can be so powerful on us and possibly shape our happiness.
Impact of Happiness
Happiness can come from many different things from many different people. It is important to notice the factors that can have an impact on happiness. An example are those who are seen as enthusiastic. Enthusiasm people tend who be more excited and want to have fun with everyone around them, thus making more friends easily. Living in the moment will bring them joy. Compassion can branch off of enthusiasm in the sense of enjoying the presence of others. Those who are compassionate also will give small acts of kindness, which has been linked to happiness for some. Even withdrawal can have a positive effect on happiness. These facts are all part of the Big 5. The Big 5 is a model that was used in science that was found to be linked with one’s well-being (TheBrainFlux, 2017). Happiness is so desired that there are authors who sell books that give off ideas that will promote change in your personality and well-being. Some authors will give off well-fed information while emphasizing the fact that change will take time, while there are other authors who promise change right then and there by completing tasks. If one would like to try self-help books, the best bet would to understand that it will take time and go with the author who does not promise automatic change. Some wonder if they are the reason they are not happy and wonder if they could have the possibility to experience happiness
if they could possibly develop a whole different personality. Of course, it is important to accept yourself and see the beauty in yourself, but it is also important to notice when there needs to be a change. In 2016, there was an experiment that took place in Australia that wanted to determine if changes in personality would help someone feel happier and more content with themselves and how their life changed. The scientists used a survey called “HILDA survey” which “assesses the personality, life satisfaction, positive affect, and negative effect of a large, nationally representative sample of Australia’s population” (Kaufman,2016). The survey followed as people made different actions to change themselves. The conclusion of the experiment was that the change for the self can have a great impact on not only our happiness, but also our personality (Kaufman,2016)! One important factor that helps create happiness is our mind. Our mind is very overlooked when it comes to happiness because we tend to lean towards objects or others to create happiness for us. Self awareness is a big impact on our content with life because we create our own paths in life by the way we make certain decisions, who we surround ourselves with, and how we communicate. According to Gary Van Warmerdam, publisher of “How the Mind Affects Your Happiness” on Pathwaytohappiness.com, happiness and fulfillment is generally based on the dynamics of virtual reality (Warmerdam,2007). An example of this could be that someone possibly got evicted from their home. Being evicted can create a sad and scared feeling, especially if that person does not have very many places to go. There will be feeling of guilt and frustration, whether it is towards the person or others. A few years later, the individual has a bigger and better house. There may be beliefs that the conviction had to happen because the individual is stronger and has a stronger mindset, and that is where the virtual reality comes in. The conviction still happened, but the homeowner did not let that take over their life and weaken them. They took a route where they made themselves better and created a better life. Their emotion during this process got stronger and so did their outlook in their virtual reality.
As some can probably imagine, health is important when it comes to happiness. Health is a very important concept in overall personality. It affects our daily lives and mental or physical health can hurt us. Though, how your outlook on life is affected while in a sickly stage can show some strong personality traits as well. Negative emotions can have a negative impact on health. According to Hsps.Harvard.Edu, the body can experience a “wear and tear” effect that can result in harsh body functions such as chronic anger, heart disease, and even diabetes (Rimer,2011). Laura Kubzansky is a HSHP associate professor of society, human development, and health. In a psychological lab, Kubzansky admitted that our attitudes (such as optimism or negativity) is a nature vs nurture outcome. She said that “they are 40–50 percent heritable, which means you may be born with the genetic predisposition. But this also suggests there is a lot of room to maneuver” (Kubzansky, 2011). There are also some other influences your health and mentality. For example, being in an abusive relationship can give someone strong anxiety and can even cause other or additional mental illness. Another way personal identity characteristics can come out is when we are listening to others about their jobs. Jobs can say a lot more about a person than we think. Of course not all jobs define a person. There is always a story about the jobs we have, such as maybe we were desperate for a job because we need to pay tuition. It is not always complex, but there is a reason behind every job. Jobs can shape our identity by allowing us to develop some traits that shape who we are everyday. For example, are you required to have patience? Elementary school teachers deal with kids who are still learning right from wrong, so they have to be patient with those who are struggling or are just barely learning. A person may also be dealing with the side of society where they are grateful for their life’s treasure and can experience others who are receiving miracles (such as doctors or midwives), or the majority of their job depends on seeing the inhumane side of society (such as police officers) (Thebookoflife.org,). Jobs can fit perfectly with our personality, or they can help change us. If an individual who is slower paced had to get a job in a fast food chain restaurant, they would most likely learn how to pick up quickly and can develop new ways to help their pace. Of course there are also downsides to jobs and the way they have developed a person. For instance, many actors and actresses get abused sexually, mentally, and sometimes physically by agents or directors. Sometimes the public will blame them saying that the actors should have seen it coming, but if the actors started young, then there is a chance that they have been brainwashed. Once directors see that young artists are starting to become serious, they will then teach and inform the student of what will come. Many artists are told strict rules that should always apply and in those rules, “no” should not be said in most cases. Especially for younger artists who are just getting their big break, they are scared if they turn down an offer (of any type) they will then have their name all over big companies for being “difficult”. With this in mind, they are cautious about what to do and say. This does not go towards every single artist, but depending on the region of where the artist came from, similar rules are told. With this being said, self esteem will also play a major role.
Just like personality, prejudice is developed as we ride on the rollercoaster of life. It can primarily be learned in adolescence years. Kids are very much like sponges and even though that it a well known fact, some forget and will say things in front of a child (who will soon remember). There has been at least once where a child has repeated a word or a phrase they should not know but picked up by their parents, babysitter, aunts, etc. It is the same with prejudice. When kids see certain people or traits as threats, they will develop negative emotions towards them. In today’s news, President Trump has said some things that are either a hit or miss with the United States. Katherine Kinzler is an associate professor of Psychology (NYtimes.com,2016) who wrote an article about how Trump becoming president can have an impact on kids. Kids will always learn about presidency in school and the older they are, the more in-depth they’ll get about the presidential decisions and what lead up to those decisions. In the article, Kinzler opens up her statement by telling the reader how her daughter got upset because she saw an interview where Trump made some very sexual comments towards a reporter. Naturally, the little girl got very upset that someone could be so cold towards others and got scared for the future. She then began to talk about a “Trump Effect” where kids pick up negative outlooks and emotions towards others because they see a possible presidential candidate doing it (Kinzler, 2016). Kinzler then states “Developmental psychology research has shown that by the time they start kindergarten, children begin to show many of the same implicit racial attitudes that adults in our culture hold” (Kinzler,2016). During elementary years, schools emphasize that boys and girls should be separated. It is also during these years where “girls aren’t allowed to be astronauts. Only guys can because it’s a boy thing” starts. Especially in today’s society where every toddler has an iPad, kids are especially vulnerable to the actions and words to whom they think is in power. Younger kids pick up on trends quick and easy, whether it is because they think it is cool or they are just surrounded by it. Adolescents absorb things and their mindset can only get stronger or it can be changed. It all depends on how they decide to see the world around them as they get older. Some choose to stick to the mindset of their surroundings from when they were growing up and stay with a prejudice mindset. As generations get older, everyone will realize that in a way, we cannot find a way to accept each other as humans. One issue in today’s society is homophobia. In fact, there are people who are always trying to find a loophole so they do not have to engage with those who are gay or lesbians. Other ethnicities and religions find themselves in the same boat as well. Prejudice can shield your eyes from a beautiful view that those who are different will bring to the world. Prejudice doesn’t have to be “I remember my mom said guys can’t wear makeup and I automatically agree”. There can be a sensitive root of prejudice. David G Myers and C. Nathan DeWall are authors of Psychology in Everyday Life. They explain a theory called “Scapegoat theory” and that is where others will find someone to blame in time of a crisis or major event that happened (Myers ; DeWall, 2014). This is still a very big issue today. The reader will also learn that prejudice can come from those who are having trouble in their own economical status. (Myers ; DeWall,2014). Those who are from higher social classes experience different lifestyles and points of views. Depending on how high of the class they came from, the person was most likely sheltered from reality most of their life and was stuck with the views they were surrounded in because that is all they knew. When they are reunited with reality, there is a possibility that they still see themselves above everyone. This can also branch off into other ways, such as religion. Many families do take their religion very seriously and try to get their kids to take great pride in it as well. When adolescents become involved with their religion and want to take pride in it, they will most likely believe in their strict rules. Religion is a beautiful thing, but it can turn some individuals very dark. In some religions, other religions or races are not the favorite, so that can close the eyes for some.
Relationships Can Make Us or Break Us
Relationships can be a beautiful thing. They provide extra love and support from others who we cherish. Relationships can vary between significant others, friends, or family members. Some relationships can tear us apart mentally and physically, but other times it can reveal sides and traits that we never knew existed within our souls. There are positive outcomes that can happen to your mentality while in a positive relationship. Kyle C. is a publisher for TheEliteDaily.com and posted an article about what happens to your body. The outcomes are all very positive. For instance, having someone who you enjoy right by your side will have positive outcomes, such as relieved stress, higher self esteem, and you can discover other traits you were not aware of. For example, the person may have a more nurturing attitude towards the significant other (C. ,2016). It was also mentioned that there may be a ripple effect when it comes to relationships and more motivation. When one suggests a more adventurous lifestyle, the other may agree and try to break a new layer of their shell. Partners can help motivate each other to try new things and get into new lifestyles that can help break a new shell and reveal the person to new experiences they might enjoy in their life (C.,2016). Unfortunately, not all relationships end in happy endings. Sometimes the relationships we think are to last a lifetime, will end up in a divorce. Divorce can have awful impacts, not to mention they are flat out devastating. When relationships lead up to divorce, there can be feelings scarred into the person. Anxiety will most likely stick with the person in other relationships and in other scenarios. (Prevention.com, 2015) The buildup of anxiety can possibly make them feel as if they’re not good enough (this can also lead up to depression) and other issues such as disease and having trouble staying or going to sleep. Of course, these are all additional signs of depression and there are also other traits such as extreme weight loss from being distracted or sad, financial issues, and substance abuse. (Prevention.com,2016) Going through divorce can lead to mental and physical pain. The pain of having trust broken by someone or seeing a hopeful future come apart can drive a person into a frantic state where they try whatever they can that will help them deal with their problems or take away their pain. Divorce can completely change an outlook of life and it will leave scars. If the divorce was a pop-up event (such as a significant other was caught cheating) then a person can completely change their views on other people. Sometimes, a person is relieved when their divorce is final and they are starting to walk on rainbows, but for others it is a tragic event that has a long road to recovery.
Mental Health Care
Mental disorders has a strong grip when it comes to shaping personality. Many people suffer from mental disorders and can probably share a few stories as to how it can affect their daily lives. Some may notice that there should be something done to help them understand their illness or maintain it, while others believe that they are perfectly fine and everyone is overdramatic. Therapy is always a great go to, even if one does not have a diagnosed disorder. Therapy is a great way to cope with stress and talk about problems if there is any. Many daily tasks can be mentally draining. Even though mental health is becoming more popular these days, it is still overlooked by people in power (the one’s possibly causing distress). Many individuals who are mentally drained can include students, single parents, young adults who are alone and trying to figure out how the world works, and many others. Mental exhaustion seems to come from the ideas that something is required (such as college) and students will then feel pressured and stressed when they see that they are struggling. Therapy can help one feel better and possibly help relieve stress, causing them to be the better person they wish to be. When going to therapy, a person can focus on the problems that the patient may feel is overcoming them, find out new ways to cope with their emotions,and even help get a deeper self view that they understand their personal aspiration they would like to achieve one day.(Mentalhealthamerica.net) Mentalhealthamerica.net is a nonprofit that wants to better and help those who are struggling with their mental health. On their website, they explain the different types of therapy and what it is effective towards. There are many types of therapy and they all have a different goal for different people. When going to therapy, it is very important that the patient is comfortable. With this being said, if the patient feels more comfortable with a guy therapist, they will probably be more open and trusting. They can decide if they would like someone who will lean towards more listening, or talking, or just being there for them when they are in need. (Mentalhealthamerica.net) Since there needs to be communication in therapy, it is also important to make notes of your behavior and tell a therapists if there are any unpleasant changes, understand that everything takes time, and to communicate as much as possible because humans are still struggling to read minds in today’s society! (Mentalhealthusa.net) Unfortunately there are others with mental disorders that struggle with getting help. They believe that they are totally normal and everyone wants them to change for the worse. This can be very hard on family members and can not only impact the patient’s personality, but the families. The patient may develop a very harsh attitude towards anyone who tries to get them to get help, while the family can become very pushy and aggressive. A staff writer from Ahealthyplace.com wrote in an article “perhaps nothing is more awful to see,day in and out, someone you love severely degraded by an illness you don’t fully understand…”(Ahealthyplace.com). That quote is a perfect summary of the emotions that family members experience. There is pain (sometimes physical, sometimes mentally) and it is hard to comprehend what is actually going through the patients mind because no one truly knows. Loved ones can do everything in their strongest willpower, but nothing will work. Sometimes, it may feel like all a person can do is watch and hope their loved one finds inner peace. It is especially heart breaking when a patient needs treatment that the family cannot afford. Yes, there are plans that will regardless help the patient get help, but sometimes it is not enough or the outcomes may not be as beneficial as hoped. Sometimes thought cannot be controlled and one cannot help but blame themselves for what the patient is going through. The stress will roll up on the body and it can break down the family members just as much as it will to the patient. This definitely shouldn’t take away the focus from patients who are suffering, but it is also important to realize that it is hard to watch loved ones go through so much when family members can’t do much. Especially when the patient is an adult, family can’t just grab them by the hand and force them to do treatments like they are children. Family and loved ones have a hard job that is often looked over.
How To Feel Better
There are many things that can come between lives and happiness. Sometimes we realize that something bad is overcoming us and we decide to get help. Other times aren’t so lucky. To boost our well-being, it is important to take care of ourselves. This means getting good sleep, trying to maintain stress, have a balance nutrition and workout plan, believing in ourselves, and having good interactions with one another. (Melinda Smith, Robert Segal, Lawrence Robinson, Jeanne Segal, 2018) When individuals feel like they are important, they will feel better about themselves and can create a positive energy in themself. For example, doing volunteer work or caring for a pet can make one feel good inside and happy ( Smith et al., 2018). Exercise is another great way to self improve. After finishing a challenge, the person can finally say “I did it!” This will create a positive image and positive thoughts for the person who was struggling. When exercising, the body will release endorphins, which creates a happy and energetic effect in a person. This will also boost a more upbeat and confident personality in a person. (Women.thenest.com) Working out is a wonderful way start to achieve goals and it has many outcomes. Communication can also have a positive impact on our well being and it can make us happier as well. Individuals have to communicate to get through their daily lives and there is so many amazing unknown things that can really brighten a person up. Having good relationships with others can help relieve stress and can create so much positivity in one’s life. According to Anxietybc.com, the three types of social activity that everyone should know and practice is non-verbal communication, assertiveness, and conversation skills.
Many events that happen in life can influence our thinking and happiness. Our personalities are shaped by the environment around us and our personalities can help define our happiness. Unfortunately, there are events that can cause anger and sadness, but it is how we choose to view those events that will define our happiness and personalities. Many things can try to take away happiness, but it is how individuals choose to look at the situation that will define who they are as a person.