To of Dr. Murray Straus, a opponent of
To Spank or not to Spank….. THAT IS THE QUESTION????? In this day and time to spank or not to spank is an issue of controversy.
Not so long ago one could beat their wife, husband or children and that was considered a family matter for others to stay out of. Today some still hold on to the thought of it’s not their business while others say oh, yes, it is their business in spite of where it takes place at. Today I would like to discuss the pros and cons of spanking along with expert opinions of each, and give my opinion.So, first I would like to talk about the pros. Some pros are as follows: •Spanking can be effective on a short-term basis in getting children to change any negative behaviors that prompted the spanking.
•Spanking has been shown to be most effective in 2- to 6-year-olds when used in conjunction with milder disciplinary methods, such as reasoning and time-outs. •In a study, mothers who combined reasoning with negative consequences (such as spanking) had the most success in changing negative behaviors. Dr.James Dobson, the high profile minister and founder of Focus On The Family, tells in his book, Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide, why he believes spanking may be all right under some circumstances. In answer to a question posed in the book: Is there an age when you begin to spank? Dr. Dobson answered as follows: “There is no excuse for spanking babies or children younger than 15 to 18 months of age.
Midway through the second year (18 mos), children become capable of understanding instruction.They can then very gently be held responsible for how they behave. Diana Baumrind, one of the world’s leading experts in parenting recants much of Dr. Murray Straus, a opponent of spanking, assertions as suspect, because he uses flawed scientific evidence spurred on by his deep and passionate personal morals. Although personal morals are not a bad thing when figured in any human equation, it has no place in a debate discussing the fall-out on the world’s children.Readers of these scientific conclusions must be able to depend upon the results without bias, when attempting to do the proper thing in regards to legislation and parenting questions. Baumrind concludes her comments in a university paper submitted to the Canadian Children’s Rights Council with the following: “…I have been funded to record our (longitudinal) data to examine Corporal Punishment and other disciplinary strategies within a larger socialization context.
My tentative hypothesis is that appropriately used (especially within an uthoritative context) disciplinary spanking is harmless relative to alternative forms of punishment. ” Also, there are Biblical references to spanking. “Spare the rod spoil the child” is often incorrectly attributed to the Christian Bible. It does not appear there. However, there are many references to spanking in the Bible. The following quotations are from the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible: •Prov 13:24: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently). ” Prov 19:18: “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
” •Prov 22:15: “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. ” An additional verse from the New Testament is occasionally cited as justification for physical punishment of children: •Hebrews 12:6-7: “… the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? According to an article from religioustolerance.
org regarding their study of conservative Protestant books on child-raising, and the content of numerous radio programs on Christian radio stations, it appears that many Fundamentalist and other Evangelical Christians equate “punishment” and “discipline” with “corporal punishment. ” But it is not clear whether the discipline, referred to at the end of this New Testament verse, refers to corporal punishment or to some other form of correction (e. g. removal of privileges). The Cons Long-term consequences of spanking can include increased aggressiveness, antisocial behavior, and delinquency. •Weaker associations for spanking such as a failure to learn right from wrong, subsequent criminal behavior, mental illness, and child or spouse abuse as adults have also been suggested. •Physical punishment can send mixed messages to a child and reinforce aggressive behavior.
When parents model aggressive behaviors by spanking, they reinforce the idea that physical aggression is the way to get what you want. •Spanking is associated with a poorer relationship between the parent and child.Children who were spanked feel less attached to their parents and less trusting of them. The more the child was spanked, the less close the parent/child relationship. One of the most outspoken voices against spanking is Dr. Murray Straus who believes spanking is physically and mentally damaging to children.
Straus, a University of California-Berkeley professor, and author of Beating The Devil Out Of Them: Corporal Punishment In American Families, asserts spanking can lead to disruptive behavior in school, depression and criminal activity in adulthood.Straus is a proponent of using alternative discipline techniques such as: •Setting clear standards •Providing lots of love and affection •Explaining things to a child •Recognizing and rewarding good behavior Reacting to parents who cite using spanking as a last resort, Straus reports, is often a manifestation of their own frustration…and they’re hitting out of control and in anger. Straus also cites the pervasiveness of spanking from the National Family Violence Surveys of 1975 and 1985, which found 90% of participants spank 3 year-old children, a statistic over-whelming abhorrent to him.Straus delineates the legal distinction between child abuse and corporal punishment by defining the latter as “the use of physical force with the intention of causing the child pain, but not injury, for the purpose of correction or control of the child’s behavior. ” In closing I would like to give my opinion of spanking. I was spanked as a child and I don’t think it had an adverse affect on me. I’m not a criminal, I’m not aggressive, antisocial nor did I beat my daughter.
Now she did receive spankings. One of the most difficult decisions a parent makes is how to discipline their child.There is a line between spanking and beating. Since everyone has a mind of their own it can’t be assumed everyone is on the same page with what those lines are; for everyone has a different interpretation of those lines. We all have values and beliefs. Many of those values and beliefs are instilled from our parents and others involved in our lives while we are growing up.
We may also choose to change our values and beliefs based upon how those people raised us. An online article at Parents. com by; Loraine M. Stern, MD, FAAP says: Spanking teaches children that it’s all right to hit, and that it’s all right to be hit.I believe most parents really don’t want to convey that message. I believe there must be a balance.
Along with spanking parents must develop a positive, nurturing relationship. The key to successful parenting is building a strong relationship–not corporal punishment. Spanking your children should be a small part of your parenting.
If your main parenting tool is spanking or other forms of punishment, you will fail! When done with love and care, spanking helps children grow in respect, obedience and self-control. It is not child abuse.